When you’re an over-thinker, the smallest task can feel like a much bigger one. We basically live inside our heads going over ever scenario of past, present and future.
Friday, I went to the hair dresser and I couldn’t help but notice my over-thinking and anxiety was on high the moment I walked in. It kind of went like this:
Getting checked in.
Me: *Walks through the door*
Scenario: *Everyone turns to look at who walked in the door, some with sour looks on their face*
Me: (in my head) “Why is everyone looking at me?” *Checks to make sure clothes are on right* “If they’re looking at my hair, well, that’s why I am here. So stop” *I pause for a minute, then proceed to the front desk* *Disgusted at how awkward I looked for that split second pause I did at the front door*
Hair dresser: (before I got to the desk) “Gus, have a seat we will be with you shortly”
Me: Thank you. (in my head “Wow, they remember me?… I wonder if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Probably a bad thing. This is not good.”
Me: *looks around at everyone.* (in my head) “Everyone must have had a bad day. No that’s impossible for everyone to have a bad day isn’t it? Oh my, I wonder if something happened globally?!” *looks at phone* “Nothing that I can see. Maybe it is possible for everyone to have a bad day, in the same room, at the same time.”
Hair dresser: *calls someones name*
Me: (in my head) “Ok good. I am glad it wasn’t me. It’s too soon and people would be mad if I got in front of them. They can’t do that to me. They already said my name. I don’t want them to think I get special treatment. But special treatment would be pretty nice_ NOPE I am being selfish”
*Woman walks in*
Me: (in my head) “please don’t sit beside me, please don’t sit beside me…”
*Woman sits beside me*
New woman: “How long has everyone been waiting”
Angry woman #3: “I don’t know why we even call ahead. It doesn’t do any good.”
Me: (in my head) “Oh no. Confrontation”
New Woman: “It’s a shame. (Salon Name) is going down hill. I don’t even know why I come here”
Me: (in my head) “I don’t know why you come here either. You should leave and let me have my personal space again.”
Angry woman #3: “It’s like they only have a few people doing hair and the rest go to lunch. Don’t they know we have things to do also”
Me: *scoots away from New Woman* (in my head) ” Oh god. I hope the hair dressers doesn’t think I’m in that conversation. I hope they know I am not with them. Let me see if I can position myself so they can see I am not with them.
*Angry Woman #3’s name gets called*
Angry woman #3 “finally I’m not getting any younger”
Me: *laugh’s at the thought of the hair dresser shaving Angry Woman #3’s hair off for being rude* (in my head) “hehehe”
Me: (in my head) “Did it look like I laughed at what she said, oh my, they are going to shave my head”
*My name gets called*
*A combination of excitement and fear comes over me. The awkward social interaction over, but another is about to begin*
Hair dresser: “Hi how are you? Sorry about the wait”
Me: “You’re fine” (in my head) “why did I say that? I didn’t mean she is fine, I meant to say no problem… This is not going well at all” *Anxiety starts to climb*
Me: (in my head) “Please don’t ask me if I have any plans this weekend”
Hair dresser: “Do you have any plans this weekend?”
Me: “Not really” (in my head) “WTF, I say that all the time, I swear they never think I have a life”
*Awkward silence* (in my head) “OH great. I had a full on script to keep the conversation going and I forgot it all. FML”
The hair cut.
Hair dresser: “How would you like your hair cut today”
Me: (in my head) “Do something new DO SOMETHING NEW!!!”
Me: “The same”
Me: (in my head) “-_-”
Hair dresser: “would you like a beard trim and shampoo as well?”
Me: (in my head) “no I need to save money”
Me: “Sure” *dies a little inside*
The hair dresser proceeds to cut my hair. For a while I start to feel comfortable. She begins to start working on my beard and I realized that she isn’t cutting it how I like and thus starts the battle all over again.
Me: (in my head) “you have to tell her. you got this. DO IT. NOW!”
Me: “HEY” *too loud. hair dresser jumps, my face turns red*
Me: “Sorry, but do you mind adding a curve under the chin.”
Hair dresser: “Sure no problem!”
At this point I am so excited. I think I heard angels singing. I spoke up! I did what I hate doing, and it felt great! I feel like I can conquer anything. I AM INVINCIBLE!
Hair dresser: “would you like for me to trim your eye brows?”
Me: “Sure” *24K Magic playing in my head*
* Hair dresser forgets the middle part of my brow*
Me: (in my head) “YOU SHOULD TELL HER!”
Me: (in my head) “nope”……..
Angry woman #1 & #2 didn’t really have a part in this because they were mostly quiet. Just scowling.
The rest of the story just has me replaying why I didn’t speak up about my eyebrows.